Who says horoscopes are wrong?

Posted on by Brian

It’s all looking potentially quite saucy for you now, as the planet of love, Venus, enters your sign just as the eclipse fires up your Intimacy Zone. If you know that you’ve lost the art of seduction, and you wish you hadn’t, this is your chance to go off and do something about it. Get in touch with your Inner Goddess – and if you think that sounds ridiculous, it’s not! The Goddess dwells in every female. Google “Venus Aphrodite” or “Lakshmi”. Bringing these Goddesses out in your spirit could actually change your life in wonderful ways you never dreamed of. – WeTV.com

Who am I to argue with Lakshmi?

Another crazy morning. Literally. As in “insane.” Seriously.

Posted on by Brian

This is the Tune Tech TT500 Backlit Clip Style Tuner which keeps my ukulele sounding so gloriously in tune:

Tune Tech TT500 Backlit Clip Style Tuner
Tune Tech TT500 Backlit Clip Style Tuner

It’s a relatively small device, no more than a couple of inches at its longest dimension. However, this small device has the full potential to destroy your morning.

This is our last day at the Home Office in Smyrna, GA. I woke up before my roommate and spent the time between then and when he finished his shower getting everything packed. I was all packed (except for my shower stuff) by the time he was done, so I had a leisurely morning ahead. I took my shower, got dressed, packed all of my toiletries and thought to myself “Oh yeah, last night I was going to make sure my tuner was packed with my electronics rather than with my ukulele (so there would be no reason to search the uke case at security).”

I checked the case – no tuner. Perfect. For once I did something when I thought about it, rather than waiting until the morning of, and I was proud of myself. Until…

It occurred to me that just that morning I had repacked my electronics bag to make everything fit right, and I couldn’t remember putting my tuner in there. You probably know where this is going.

I checked the electronics bag. The pocket that was in. The other backpack pockets. The pockets of all the pants I wore (since I couldn’t remember what I wore yesterday). I checked the electronics bag again. I checked the microwave. The refrigerator. The bathroom. All the drawers. I stripped the sheets off the bed. I found a way to pull the bed away from the wall. I took the pillowcases off the pillows. I completely emptied my backpack and all sub-bags inside it (including the electronics bag for the fourth or fifth time). At that point, I was 30 minutes behind schedule and I knew my ride and roommate had both been waiting downstairs for me that whole time. I resigned myself to the fact that either the tuner was lost, or it was in the one bag I didn’t check because I couldn’t imagine how I would have put it in there.

That’s right. I checked the microwave, but didn’t check one of my bags because it “didn’t seem likely.” I was so worked up and sweaty by that point, I had to bring that bag into work, since it’s where I put my few remaining clean clothes. As we’re walking down the hall, I suddenly picture the tuner. How last night I decided to put it in a brown plastic bag along with my fretboard stamp because “since it’s with my other ukulele stuff, I’ll know where it is.” I pictured me putting that bag in the small bag this morning as I thought “This brown bag only has my fretboard stamp, so I’ll put it in the checked luggage.”

I get to the conference room, pull out the top two layers of clothes (including a new shirt), and there’s the brown bag. With my fretboard stamp. And my ink pad. And my frickin’ tuner.

Son of a bitch.

And Another Thing (So to Speak)

Posted on by Brian

Now there’s an Extenze commercial on and I’m thinking about placing an order. I’ve always wanted to be taller. Oh wait. Now that I’ve watched a little more of the commercial, I see I misunderstood the “size enhancement” claims. Good thing I didn’t place the order yet – my appendix is large enough. Unless they’re talking about some other “certain organ down there” that I’m not thinking of.

Oh yeah, and in hindsight, it probably would have been better to use “Georgia” in the title. Or maybe “Smyrna.” But I’m not a perfectionist, so it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not going to stay up all night, tossing and turning, fighting to keep myself from going back and changing that title.

Because it’s morning.

I’m 38 – I Need a Real Hat.

Posted on by Brian

Today is Day 2 of my week off, so after my weekly visit with Dr. B, I decided to stop by DelMonico Hatter in New Haven to try on some hats. Barb is convinced that I don’t have a “hat head,” but I know she’s gotta be wrong. My head is gorgeous, right?

So after trying on every hat in the store (well, every straw hat, it being summer and all), I found two that didn’t make me look completely dorky. Barry at DelMonico was super-nice & took photos of me in each so I could run them by Sarge. I mean, Barb. The hats in the photos don’t look quite as good as they did when I looked in the mirror, but I think that was mostly due to me being self-conscious about how I should pose to best reflect the hats’ awesomeness.
Read more

Here he comes, here comes Moondoggie…

Posted on by Brian

We recently switched from DirecTV to the World of Comcast, and today’s On-Demand movie menu had Speed Racer on it.

First, I’d like to state for the record (as we know blogs on the internet are even more legally binding than being sworn in at a trial) that I’ve never smoked pot. I’ve been around people who have and, while I respect their choice, I can’t get past the smell of it. That said, this movie made me want two things: the biggest home theater in the world and a bong. As pretty and enjoyable as the movie was, I can’t help but feel I’m missing something being sober and watching it on a 32″ Sylvania. At the very least, maybe it would override my innate sense of physics that kept messing with the racing scenes.
Read more

The New Experiment Begins

Posted on by Brian

So I was writing this long diatribe about perfectionism and realized I might scare off a lot of people when my first post winds up being a novella. So instead, I’m giving it its own little area in the “About” section. Or maybe somewhere else. I haven’t quite decided yet. I’m trying to fly by the seat of my pants a little more with this site, so I’m runnin’ fast and loose baby!

Well, for me, anyway.
Read more

The Usual Apologies and Updates

Posted on by Brian 5 Comments

Okay, first off, the standard apology to those who have commented or emailed me and have yet to get a reply. I have a tendency to think I can do much more than I can, which leads to me either forgetting things or getting too involved with something else to keep up with things that I should be keeping up with.

So yet again, today is a new day. From this point forward, every email that comes in is answered ASAFP (since putting things off for too long makes it that much harder for me to do them) and every comment answered as soon as I see it’s there. I’m trying to turn a new leaf here, so have some patience.

Part of that leaf turning includes daily posting. I’ve tried to do it in the past, knowing that I’d slip up at some point and miss a few days, then a few weeks, then a few months, etc. This time, I’m doing it with the knowledge that I won’t. Let’s hear it for positive thinking!

Of course, there’s always a catch. While I’ll be answering emails and comments as soon as possible, any sent from Thursday through Monday might still have a bit of a delay. I’m going to be heading down to Louisville, KY this weekend for Hodgeapalooza II: Hillbilly Edition! But as soon as I get back, the answering resumes! Unless I have internet access somewhere, in which case, updates from the road!

Next on the agenda: ME! Health-wise, things are still good on the cancer front. I had a clean PET before I went to Texas and I have a bloodwork-and-visit-only followup later this month. Tooth-wise, it hasn’t been so great.

About a week before I left Texas, one of my wisdom teeth started hurting. That’s right – September. Tylenol was keeping it under control pretty well other than a couple of really hellacious days (usually on a weekend). Why didn’t I just go to the dentist? Well, I don’t like my dentist. And not in that “I don’t like dentists” way – just him in particular. And I’m horrible when it comes to finding new doctors and making appointments and such.

So last week, I finally had enough and found someone and got in for a look. Turns out both wisdom teeth on the left side are going to have to come out. I’ve already had the two on the right out, so I’ll be dropping from half-wise to not wise at all. Fortunately for you (and the makers of Tylenol and Advil), they won’t be coming out until the 20th. So, if I seem out of sorts in Kentucky, it’s not just the bluegrass making me blue.

Other than that, things have been rolling right along. I’m getting a little better at figuring out the whole life/work equation, and I’ve been getting fired up about getting CiMB back on the road again. I was going to include the plans in this post, but it’s gotten rather long, so I’ll make you wait until tomorrow.

Hey, I’ve got to come up with material for a post each day somehow, right?

Tie a Pink-ish Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree

Posted on by Brian

Many thanks to Loretta for adding a comment to the “Frickin’ Pink Ribbons” post, which reminded me that we’re finally out of Breast Cancer Awareness Month here in the States. I thank everyone else who commented as well, it’s just that Loretta had the luck to post after 10/31 and get the special mention. Now that October is over (and since I haven’t posted since September), it’s time for a quick follow-up.

I’d also like to send a shout out to the comment spammer who hit the original post with the most accurate and insightful comment spam ever: “Hello webmaster. I think you could also make more of it through a bigger exposure about “Frickin’ Pink Ribbons”. Perhaps you can have some pink ribbon candy.”

Brilliant.

Aside from going off on a tear about a whole MONTH devoted to those of the pink persuasion, I’ll share a little message I received From Above. No, I don’t hear God speaking to me in my head or anything – I’m not crazy. He speaks to me by waving things in my face until I get it.

Okay, maybe I am crazy.

Anyway, a couple of days away from the end of October, I was walking to my psychologist’s office (I know, I know – you’re shocked) when I saw a beat up station wagon with a bumper sticker that summed up the whole month: “Abortions Cause Breast Cancer.”

I know, I was just as angry as you are. “How DARE they! All of these loose women taking our cancer funding away just because they’re going around having abortions all willy nilly!”

Okay, so I wasn’t angry right off the bat. When confronted with something so mind-numbingly idiotic, my first reaction is to get the giggles. Then my brain runs in circles for a little bit. Then what I see finally cuts through my barricades and I get either pissed off or sad. Often, a combination of both.

After I had quelled the giggles of my immediate defense reaction, I felt the universe waving and pointing at the bumper sticker. Time for Brian to learn something again.

Every time I’ve seen something about “Breast Cancer Awareness” I’ve always thought to myself “Come on, WHO is still unaware about breast cancer in this country?” Now, I just think about that bumper sticker. It turns out, even the big cancers still have a lot of ignorance to deal with. Granted, this particular bumper sticker was an easy, though highly logically flawed, slur (women get most breast cancer, women get all abortions, therefore, abortions cause cancer) and it was but one of the many things this driver believes abortions cause and/or are caused by. Apparently, the deeper roots of breast cancer lie in being a liberal and/or a democrat, since this little station wagon believes (according to two of its other stickers) that liberals and Democrats cause abortions. It stands to reason then, that liberals and Democrats cause breast cancer. I bet you wish you had known that before election day, huh?

For those who have some across this site in ways other than the Hodge Board, I do have an eventual Greater Purpose for both me and the site. CiMB is going to (hopefully) turn into a way to get people talking about ALL cancers and help quell as much disinformation as possible. There are a lot of organizations, foundations and movements out there raising money to fight these things and cure our family. They can concentrate on eradicating cancer. I’m concentrating on making my cancer family’s life easier in any little way that I can. I’m better at words than fundraising, so I’m aiming for education. I’m not looking to raise cancer awareness, since everyone, ignorant or not, is aware of it. I’m looking to make people realize that these bald people whose backs they’re talking behind and pointing at are human beings. I’ll be posting again later tonight with more details on where the site’s going and where things are standing. And about me too, since I know you all just come here to hear me talk about myself.

So I guess our pink sisters are going to need our help after all. Even with all of their awareness efforts, there are still a ton of idiots out there making them feel bad for what they have, and I can only key so many station wagons.

But I still won’t buy anything that’s pink 🙂