Okay, now I’m worried.

As my loyal readership (both of you) knows, I sit right outside the women’s bathroom here at work. Not out of any perverse longing to keep tabs on the womenfolk or anything, it’s just where I was placed.

They’ve been doing some kind of construction up on the roof today – quite annoying. They had finally taken a break and it was nice and quiet. Two women just went into the bathroom at the same time and after a very short period, the drilling on the roof recommenced, which sounds like it’s coming right from the bathroom.

It’s a very VERY loud buzzing sound.

Oh, the rumors I could start!

“Woman A? I don’t know where she is. I saw her and Woman B go into the bathroom with some strange contraption hooked up to a car battery. Why do you ask?”

At this time, both of them have left the bathroom and the noise is still going. Either it really is the drill on the roof or they left their little “friend” on the bathroom counter. It’s probably beating the bejeezus out of the porcelain sink in there as we speak.

Alright! The Learning Kingdom’s Word of the Day today is terpsichorean. I’m going to be positively insufferable today. Here’s what they say about it:

“The namesake of the adjective terpsichorean is the Greek muse
Terpsichore. Terpsichore was one of the nine muses of Greek
mythology. Often shown dancing and holding a lyre, she presided over
the arts and sciences. Terpsichore was said to have inspired those
who excelled at dancing.

Not surprisingly, the adjective terpsichorean describes something
that relates to dance. Example: “Amy’s terpsichorean activities had
given her an enviable grace and agility.”

The adjective has been in use in English since the 1800s.”

If you want to get their emails and sound like a real egghead too, go to their website and sign up. As of today’s email, there are 492,876 of us out there confusing people with our erudite language.

Oh great. Just WONDERFUL. Next thing you know, They are going to have us drinking cokes outside during our little “Coke Breaks”.

Oh

My

God

So yesterday I watch Enemy of the State and start getting all paranoid about Them watching me all the time. Just when I had calmed myself down and convinced myself that it’s just a movie, I discover the horrid truth. They’re really watching me and They already have a video of me!!! That’s the last time I stay at a Ramada Inn, let me tell you. And yes, “video” means you need to grab Quicktime before you go look.

Sometimes I worry myself. I was looking through some old pieces of scratch paper and found two phrases next to each other:

“Scones of Evil”
“Do not question the chicken.”

God, I hope that was from something I was reading at the time.

Quite a day yesterday. What did I do? Sleep. I’ve discovered that about 17 hours of sleep does wonders for curing sinus problems. Does hell for your sleep once you’re feeling better, though. Maybe I’ll write a book. How to Get Well in Seventeen Hours. I’ll follow it up with an exact copy entitled How to Get Hopeless Insomnia in Seventeen Hours.

Had weird nightmares this morning that kept me opening my eyes and turning on the lights. Then I had some weird dream involving Frankie Muniz trying desperately to not get his head stomped flat by a herd of elephants with their tails tied together in the middle of a tornado.

You know, some lucky psychiatrist is gonna make a lot of money off of me one of these days.

WOO HOO!! I got my first online compliment! Well, at least I think it’s my first online compliment. Maybe there’re people out there who just love me to death, but I haven’t seen their pages. Or they’re wishing they had a site so they could tell the world how wonderful I am!

Okay, I think somebody put something in the pizza I had for lunch. Maybe you shouldn’t combine sinus meds with tomato sauce. Where’s that box at with the instructions…

Hmmm… I’ve just noticed that the link doesn’t take you right to the part about me (me! me! me! me! Yeah, I’m an only child – why do you ask?). Take a look at Monday August 7th at 9:25.

Well, the game went rather well last night – a 3-1 victory by us. We have a nice little two game winning streak going on now, which is kinda funny, seeing as how they’re our only two wins of the season. So far, anyways.

Interesting thing – when I was playing, I felt no effects from the sinus infection & its requisite badness (i.e. eating one meal in three days and being overly dehydrated). Either hockey has pain-relieving qualities for me (not) or these Tylenol sinus pills ROCK!

Maybe I should read Fight Club again before tonight’s game…

Wow.

Wow.

I finally went and picked up Fight Club from the library. You know the old axiom about the book always being better than the movie. Who could’ve guessed it would still hold true? The book is everything the movie was and more. Wow. I came home from the library, plopped down on my bed and started reading. Two hours and 208 pages later I close the finished book and drop it beside my bed.

I am Joe’s expanded consciousness.

You could almost hear my brain making chewing noises as I tore through the book. Definitely one on my “must buy” list. Looks like I’m going to be getting all three of his books rather soon.

In the meantime, it’s off for my own personal fight club – hockey. Too bad my opponents can’t understand that I’m liberating them each time I knock them to the ice. Perhaps tonight the refs will understand. Or the player will understand and knock me down just as hard, returning the favor.

Maybe I should just sit on the bench tonight….

Since I’m sick, this is a good enough time to bitch about it as any. Now, I’m all for multi-tasking and against jumping on bandwagons, but most people just aren’t smart enough to talk on a cell phone while they’re driving. I’m not sure what exactly throws the “stupid” switch in their head, ’cause you’d think that talking on a cell phone would be equivalent to talking to your passenger. I guess when some people have a disembodied voice in their ear, they have to really concentrate to keep it focused. They need to learn to be like me – after awhile you get used to the disembodied voices. then again, maybe it works for me ’cause I don’t own a cell phone.

Regardless, at least the beloved Max Cannon has a solution for us.