Well, no hockey last night. There was hockey to be played, but I couldn’t play it. I wound up catching a cold/flu type of thing from Barb, naturally right after my last treatment. I’ve been recovering ever since. Yesterday most of the congestion and stuff was gone, but every muscle in my body was unbelievably weak. I had to sit out my first game.
On the plus side, I was going through some of the Hodgkin’s message boards the other day and discovered that I actually am rather tough and unbelievable. Possibly even badass. There were many posts where the poster would talk about how long it took them to recover from each treatment, or people who had their last treatment a month ago and are wondering when they’ll be able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing their breath.
I’m playing hockey and I still have three treatments to go.
In some ways, it makes me feel better, realizing that I really am tough when it comes to this stuff and understanding why the doctors and nurses look at me the way they do. On the other hand, when I feel like I feel now, I can’t just give in to the tired. I know that I’m stronger than this and it shouldn’t be bothering me, even though in all reality it probably should. It’s just a continuation of a neverending tug of war in my brain. Just one more way to beat myself up, I guess.
Next week, I’m back in the rink though. Just watch me.
What a difference a pair of skates make. I went and bought some larger skates on Tuesday and that took care of 90% of my suck. These are nice and roomy and fit my feet well. Interestingly enough, the guy who sold them to me has a wife who’s 80% done with her own chemotherapy.
Does everyone have cancer? It’s getting so played out.
So I was skating much better last night (Barb said I actually looked like a hockey player of some sort) AND I even got a goal!
Word of warning in case you didn’t read the title – this is a post to hide from the kids. If everyone gathers around the computer to see what Unkie Brian has been up to, send the little ones to bed and tell them I’m having a happy wonderful time.
So I’ve reached that most exciting of days in every hockey player’s life – new gear! Well, some pieces anyways. Couple of jerseys, some new pants and a wicked cool shirt/pads thing to protect my port. I wasn’t sure how well it would work just looking at the pictures, but it turns out that my port fits right in between two of the foam cells (all bordered by the white lines in the drawings), so it’s about as protected as it can get. Even more than if it were covered by one of the cells. Rockin’!
I was planning on making this a longer entry, going into me deciding again to post every night, maybe discussing some future website plans (hint: comments for real), maybe talking about work. Then I realized that the air conditioner was off today and it’s a bit toasty up here. Down to the second floor I go…
So this past weekend, Barb and I are watching a VH1 special about the KISS Alive album. I discovered that yet again, I had been living a lie. I could’ve sworn the guy with the star on his face was Ace Frehley. Turns out it’s Paul Stanley. Live and learn. Peter Criss is still the creepiest of the bunch. I also left with the feeling that the whole KISS phenomenon was some little mental exercise Gene Simmons was playing on the world.
Hey gang. Just a quick update to let you know I’m still indeed alive, though at the moment I can’t think of how to catch up the various people who need catching up. I started the new job on Friday, I’ve gotten out of credit card debt, I have some new shoes, I’ve signed up to play roller hockey starting on the 14th of this month, I still have cancer, I still despise Neulasta, Barb’s helping me get my life back on track (an by result, our life) and helping me find old bills and debts to pay off, I changed the oil in my truck (again, due to Barb), and… ummm… that’s about all I can think of. Now I need to go tear apart a couple of computers to create a zombie.