Okay, Les has already topped himself

“For those of you who just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.” – Dr. Johnny Fever

Forgot this one I found over on IMDb:

Les Nessman: You know, if it wasn’t for my sense of humor, I would swear I was losing my mind.

There are just soooo many good quotes, I’ll let you browse by yourself.