Went to the doc yesterday for the results of my latest PET Scan and… we’re almost there. The doc who read the exam actually used the phrase “dramatic improvement!” I’ve now gone from Hodgkin’s all through my chest and lymph system to a small spot of activity in the center of my chest (where a huge mass was before). They also picked up some activity in my left pectoral area, but they’re not quite sure what is causing it, as there’s no lump to match it up with on the CT portion of the exam. Dr. Davis thinks it might just be an inflammation of some kind that’s giving us a false positive, so we’re going to keep an eye on it.

So, at this point, I’m not completely out of the woods yet. But I have two more treatments to go, so I’m definitely in a pretty good sized clearing. At this point, I think it’s safe enough to say it:

Cancer is my bitch.

Yesterday, my white blood cells were back up to above-normal levels, so I got to have my chemo treatment. Two more to go now!

I think my body got used to not having chemo after three weeks, ’cause it seemed to hit me harder than usual afterwards. Back to the old school tired. This morning I don’t feel too bad though.

Now it’s off for a PET scan to see just how much of the cancer’s ass we’ve kicked. Time to go drink some gross drinks and sit around for awhile. Yay.

And this afternoon, I am NOT going to forget my Neulasta!

Well, no hockey last night. There was hockey to be played, but I couldn’t play it. I wound up catching a cold/flu type of thing from Barb, naturally right after my last treatment. I’ve been recovering ever since. Yesterday most of the congestion and stuff was gone, but every muscle in my body was unbelievably weak. I had to sit out my first game.

On the plus side, I was going through some of the Hodgkin’s message boards the other day and discovered that I actually am rather tough and unbelievable. Possibly even badass. There were many posts where the poster would talk about how long it took them to recover from each treatment, or people who had their last treatment a month ago and are wondering when they’ll be able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing their breath.

I’m playing hockey and I still have three treatments to go.

In some ways, it makes me feel better, realizing that I really am tough when it comes to this stuff and understanding why the doctors and nurses look at me the way they do. On the other hand, when I feel like I feel now, I can’t just give in to the tired. I know that I’m stronger than this and it shouldn’t be bothering me, even though in all reality it probably should. It’s just a continuation of a neverending tug of war in my brain. Just one more way to beat myself up, I guess.

Next week, I’m back in the rink though. Just watch me.

Well, the itchy hands thing has come back. I went to see my doc (who wound up as one of the top doctors in the nation according to a recent US News & World Report article) and he said it’s not related to the Hodgkin’s. He said I’ve been doing so amazingly well and the nodes have shrunk so much, that there’s just no way the cancer could be doing this.
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There. Got that out of the way, first things first. It’s almost one in the morning on Thursday, but all of the proceeding tale happened on Wednesday. Because of that and the fact that I haven’t been to sleep yet, today is still a part of yesterday to me and will be referred to as today. Or vice versa. Go it? Good. Explain it to me tomorrow. Today. Whatever.
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First off, does R. Kelly really have a song about hiding in a closet, or is he just playing a big prank on me? Not sure why he would, other than I like Me First & the Gimme Gimmes covering his music more than him singing it.

On to the post.

So I realized today that I’m not really sure how my mind is accepting/treating my cancer. I’ll explain.
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