Oh great. Just WONDERFUL. Next thing you know, They are going to have us drinking cokes outside during our little “Coke Breaks”.

Oh

My

God

So yesterday I watch Enemy of the State and start getting all paranoid about Them watching me all the time. Just when I had calmed myself down and convinced myself that it’s just a movie, I discover the horrid truth. They’re really watching me and They already have a video of me!!! That’s the last time I stay at a Ramada Inn, let me tell you. And yes, “video” means you need to grab Quicktime before you go look.

Sometimes I worry myself. I was looking through some old pieces of scratch paper and found two phrases next to each other:

“Scones of Evil”
“Do not question the chicken.”

God, I hope that was from something I was reading at the time.

Quite a day yesterday. What did I do? Sleep. I’ve discovered that about 17 hours of sleep does wonders for curing sinus problems. Does hell for your sleep once you’re feeling better, though. Maybe I’ll write a book. How to Get Well in Seventeen Hours. I’ll follow it up with an exact copy entitled How to Get Hopeless Insomnia in Seventeen Hours.

Had weird nightmares this morning that kept me opening my eyes and turning on the lights. Then I had some weird dream involving Frankie Muniz trying desperately to not get his head stomped flat by a herd of elephants with their tails tied together in the middle of a tornado.

You know, some lucky psychiatrist is gonna make a lot of money off of me one of these days.

WOO HOO!! I got my first online compliment! Well, at least I think it’s my first online compliment. Maybe there’re people out there who just love me to death, but I haven’t seen their pages. Or they’re wishing they had a site so they could tell the world how wonderful I am!

Okay, I think somebody put something in the pizza I had for lunch. Maybe you shouldn’t combine sinus meds with tomato sauce. Where’s that box at with the instructions…

Hmmm… I’ve just noticed that the link doesn’t take you right to the part about me (me! me! me! me! Yeah, I’m an only child – why do you ask?). Take a look at Monday August 7th at 9:25.

Well, the game went rather well last night – a 3-1 victory by us. We have a nice little two game winning streak going on now, which is kinda funny, seeing as how they’re our only two wins of the season. So far, anyways.

Interesting thing – when I was playing, I felt no effects from the sinus infection & its requisite badness (i.e. eating one meal in three days and being overly dehydrated). Either hockey has pain-relieving qualities for me (not) or these Tylenol sinus pills ROCK!

Maybe I should read Fight Club again before tonight’s game…

Wow.

Wow.

I finally went and picked up Fight Club from the library. You know the old axiom about the book always being better than the movie. Who could’ve guessed it would still hold true? The book is everything the movie was and more. Wow. I came home from the library, plopped down on my bed and started reading. Two hours and 208 pages later I close the finished book and drop it beside my bed.

I am Joe’s expanded consciousness.

You could almost hear my brain making chewing noises as I tore through the book. Definitely one on my “must buy” list. Looks like I’m going to be getting all three of his books rather soon.

In the meantime, it’s off for my own personal fight club – hockey. Too bad my opponents can’t understand that I’m liberating them each time I knock them to the ice. Perhaps tonight the refs will understand. Or the player will understand and knock me down just as hard, returning the favor.

Maybe I should just sit on the bench tonight….

Since I’m sick, this is a good enough time to bitch about it as any. Now, I’m all for multi-tasking and against jumping on bandwagons, but most people just aren’t smart enough to talk on a cell phone while they’re driving. I’m not sure what exactly throws the “stupid” switch in their head, ’cause you’d think that talking on a cell phone would be equivalent to talking to your passenger. I guess when some people have a disembodied voice in their ear, they have to really concentrate to keep it focused. They need to learn to be like me – after awhile you get used to the disembodied voices. then again, maybe it works for me ’cause I don’t own a cell phone.

Regardless, at least the beloved Max Cannon has a solution for us.

Okay, I started off the morning sick, now I’m just depressed. Maybe I should just go home now.

Can I die now? I think if one more drop of snot congeals in my sinuses, my head’s going to EXPLODE.

Now how’s that for a lovely picture?

I went and saw the Hollow Man yesterday, but forgot to mention it. Shows you how good it was. The effects were spectacular, but the plotline deviated to the standard slasher pic fare. You know the type – “We only have an hour’s worth of semi-believable plot, so let’s have everyone lose their common sense in the second act so we can drag it out for another hour.” I won’t give away any of the… uhhh… plot, but let’s just say that if you’re being threatened by a psycho and you have a crowbar, don’t just hit him once. Smack him like a piñata until you can’t smack him any more. I wound up leaving the movie angry, but at least I got to “Oooo” and “ahhhh” over the effects for awhile. I’d say it’s definitely a rental/matinee movie.

One little thing that made me chuckle – we occasionally get these first-person shots in the film where we’re looking through Kevin Bacon’s eyes. He’s invisible to everyone, yet he’s still hiding behind things when people hear a noise and look his way. I guess old habits really do die hard.