I’m old.

So I’m walking to work today and I realize I’m following this girl wearing one of those fashions I have yet to understand – jeans with bleached out stripes. Granted, I wore my fair share of acid-wash back in the day. Never much got into the torn jeans thing, other than when I was really small, but then it was because I was tired of Mama Moondoggie putting rainbow patches on the rips.

But I digress.

This particular look involved a mere two bleach stripes. Unfortunately for her, these stripes were on her butt, one down each cheek. She might’ve thought it was stylish, but my first thought was more canine in nature. Specifically an image of a dog scooching its butt across the carpet. I considered asking her if she had been checked for worms lately, but felt it might sound like a really bad pickup line. “Have you been checked for worms lately? Want one?” or “Have you been checked for worms lately, ’cause you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

Okay, so I’m old and strange. Sue me.