Remember all of those allusions I was making to medical problems and medical procedures and the like? Well, I just got done yesterday and have a mostly clean bill of health. Rather than life-threatening problems with my body, I just have embarassing old man-style problems. Hooray for me! Many thanks for all of you out there who were thinking positive thoughts for me.
Say, could you pass me that little inflatable pillow? Thanks.
Oh, one other note. There’s nothing like lying on a stretcher in a tiny gown, waiting to be drugged and violated, then suddenly hearing the hospital’s alarms go off. Luckily, it was just a false alarm, but it’s not the most reassuring of times to have a false alarm, especially in the world we live in today.
“If that alarm is because a terrorist is trying to blow up the hospital, how do I get back to where my underwear is?”
Once the alarm bells really started going, my doctor came in the room and shouted “Congratulations! You’re our 100,000th colonoscopy!” Later adding “Let’s go ahead and get started – the flames won’t be up this high for awhile yet.” Nice to have a doc with my sense of humor. Plus, it could’ve been worse. Rather than alarms, I could’ve heard my doc saying “You shore do have a purty mouth” as I went under the sedation. Yeah, fire alarms are much better.